I quit everything

L I S T E N

I’m not a kid anymore and it’s scary to experience my mind, body, and soul solidifying. Not that literally everyone else hasn’t experienced the exact same feeling. But I guess that’s why I wrote this song: an epilogue to the book of Everything.

I returned to my family home in December observing most of my behavior through a lens of addiction. Most of my interactions with the world (food, phone, people) were out of a desire to escape the general helplessness I felt. Obviously engaging in this way leads to further loss of control over one's life. But it's really easy not to be the one in charge.

I returned to school in January and committed myself to get these goddamn songs out, whatever the cost. I stayed up working on visuals, web design, and content. I slept weirdly and permanently lost some of the definition to my eyesight from such extended periods at my laptop. I felt my hairline receding. I barely ever went out of my way to see friends. My unwise priorities caused me even more stress than before, but I was in control.

Idk how to continue this story so I'm just gonna say I'm eternally grateful to:

• Everyone who helped me share my music with people this year: Hana Ramos, Isaac Corby, Tyler Busse, Blake Young, Tyler Donnelly, Tashi Litch, Ben Lewis, Quintin Fernandez, Cassidy Anderson, Henry Hale, and Maika Lansing
• My friends who don't care that I'm always very obnoxiously telling everyone to listen to my stuff—I get to share life (obviously including but not exclusively limited to music) with you
• Anyone who discovered what I make without knowing me and liked it enough to stay and listen for a while

Whether letting go of harmful habits or the stress of personal expectations (developing a fulfilling career, releasing high-quality music, maintaining meaningful relationships, etc.), laying down all baggage to take steps in a new direction appeals to me, especially in moments when everything’s so incredibly heavy.